Trying to decide whether this is a good laugh or an insufferable migraine, one thing comes to mind: today’s feminists would rather date the horsemen of the Apocalypse before going near any normal, nature-driven man. In fact, they would probably date the horses instead.
Twelve signs that your date is sexist (read misogynistic, as the article only covers men’s “crimes”). This seems to be the perfect recipe for women to remain alone for the rest of their lives, never thinking that when everything seems problematic, it might be them who have the actual problem.
Online dating has made this task a bit easier. OKCupid questions like, “Do you think women have the obligation to keep their legs shaved?” are designed to weed out misogynists.
You’re also going to weed out rational people, who avoid those who make a point out of drawing negative attntion by doing things which do not benefit them whatsoever (such as not shaving their legs). The sheer act of doing something pointless or detrimental just as a big middle finger to the world shows a hostile personality, in a perpetual need of defying everyone around them. If this defiance consisted of an intellectual endeavour, it would likely be praiseworthy; however, feminists do not see beyond the basest levels of human existence.
But sometimes, even if your profile screams out “I AM AN INTERSECTIONAL QUEER FEMINIST WHO ABHORS THE GENDER BINARY,” you may still find yourself on a date with someone whose actions don’t reflect this philosophy.
Not fucking likely. I trust not even those who are desperate for a one night stand would go near someone who has severe identity issues. They might just end up with a bunny boiler.
While this problem disproportionately affects women who date men, since more women than men are feminists, it’s definitely applicable to people of all genders and sexual orientations.
Can someone explain to me how a gay person could be sexist towards their date, when only dating people of their own sex?
If you notice any of these signs on a date, I would advise you to reconsider your next date with the person exhibiting them.
As you will see below, not only are most of these reasons ludicrous in terms of causing offence, but the thought that one should instantaneously give up on the other person if they come across any of them shows just how petty – and hopeless – feminists can be.
They act surprised when you defy stereotypes
A guy I was dating once asked me how I pictured my wedding when I was little. When I told him I had given literally no thought to tablecloths, centerpieces, or bridesmaid dresses, he responded, “Really? I thought girls dreamed about that stuff.” It became clear to me that he had a different idea of what being a girl meant than I did. (…) Assumptions of any sort prevent people from getting to know who you actually are.
Talk about a storm in a tea cup. Anyone who thinks such innocent remarks are enough to ring alarm bells can be sure to remain alone – until they quit that attitude, that is.
They praise women or insult men based on stereotypes
It may seem nice for a guy to say that he respects women because of their moral superiority, but as the Dalai Lama’s recent comments demonstrated, benevolent sexism (the kind behind claims like “the female biologically [has] more potential to show affection”) can be linked to less benevolent statements.
And if a man believes that men, on the other hand, are aggressive or unable to control their sexual urges, there’s a good chance he considers himself in that category and views that behavior as excusable.
In other words, if they utter the bullshit they imagine a feminist might like to hear, self-flagellating because they consider that to be the new norm (encouraged by our female-worshipping culture), not only they are insulting you but they are also likely to embody the negative characteristics feminists keep attributing to them. By condemning these behaviours in others, apparently, men are actually endorsing or even embracing them.
Most men are pieces of shit! says the feminist. Especially if they deny it! Wait a minute, here’s one who agrees in order to get on my right side. It must all be true then! He must be a piece of shit. Who knew that I was right all along!
Un-fucking-believable that this can be the product of a human mind capable of stringing two sentences together.
They compliment you by contrasting you with other women
Compliments like, “You’re not like most girls” or “You’re not the typical girl” aren’t really compliments. There’s a slight chance that it could just mean you’re a character and they’ve never met anyone like you. But if they view being unlike most girls as a compliment, they probably don’t have a high opinion of most girls.
Let’s recap: they insult you if they don’t appreciate the fact that you defy stereotypes. However, they also insult you if they specifically appreciate you for it. Which is it again?
How can it be anything other than a compliment for someone to say you’re on the same wavelength as them, more than anyone they’ve ever met? Isn’t this how couples are formed in the first place? Is he also dating the rest of the world’s female population at the same time, or is he dating you? Are you actually interested in the guy or in promoting feminism? From a subsequent point, it becomes very clear.
I once met a guy on OKCupid who went on a rant on our second date about how women on the site weren’t responding to his messages.
This was “unjust,” he said.
I was particularly shocked because I, too, get frustrated by a lack of responses to my OKCupid messages. But I had never even thought to turn that frustration back on the people who decided not to message me with their own free will. (…) Someone who feels it is “unjust” for women to say “no” to them may not respect when you say “no” to something they want.
There’s something about common courtesy feminists just don’t seem to get. The women were not saying “no”; they simply weren’t responding. Forget the stupidity of dating sites in general – it’s a matter of effortless politeness to let someone know exactly where they stand so they can stop wasting their time. How long does it take?
It’s the same with job applications from companies which don’t take the a minute to at least send an automated message to applicants that there is no chance of them getting the job. Someone can end up waiting for weeks on a response (which may not come at all).
They buy into pickup artistry
Secondly, they usually subscribe to stereotypes that men are sexually predatory and women are prey to be caught.
Though I fully agree that these men are shallow and full of themselves, it’s not necessarily a sexist attitude. It doesn’t mean they view all women in such ways, but they do view certain types, which they try to take advantage of. If they approach you like that, they must think you are one of those types (generally stupid, too easy ot too drunk to care). However, if you’re over fifteen and not into Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re most likely not in danger of falling for bullshit which can be spotted from miles away.
They undercut your statements about sexism with rebuttals about how hard men have it
Men do have it hard in some ways, but that doesn’t undercut the fact that women are systematically viewed as inferior and the “other” in our society. There is room to talk about the challenges faced by each gender without making it a competition. Anyone who responds to your lived experiences of sexism without compassion lacks, well, compassion.
Speaking of competitions: these points could in all earnest compete for the title of the most contradictorily argumented idea. The runner up and the rest would only lose by a close margin.
The second phrase contradicts the first one. Therefore, women by default have it harder, yet the whole debate is not a competition of who is more oppressed nowadays. Regarding the lived experiences of sexism, if they are enything like what this article lists, compassion is the last response they would ever generate (more like perplexity).
They deny that sexism even exists
A lot of people still love to debate proven facts, like that one in three to five women are sexually assaulted in college and that women who work full-time make 77 percent of what men make.(…) If someone denies that women experience sexism or views conversations about sexism as intellectual challenges that present the opportunity to play the devil’s advocate, their ability to empathize (or, as the Dalai Lama would say, “potential to show affection”) is probably not great.
Empathy has nothing to do with discussing numbers. Systemic sexism can be proved or rebutted with cold hard facts.And demolished it has been by so many outspoken critics so far, in the clearest, most logical of manners. Calling a long disproven fact a “proven fact” makes feminists either wilfully ignorant or duplicitous.
Also, the next time you speak to the Dalai Lama, mind and ask him how he feels about feminists calling him sexist.
They complain about political correctness
Complaining about political correctness is putting your right to hurt someone’s feelings above their feelings. Someone who sees political correctness as an affront to their freedom of speech is likely to care more about their ability to make rape jokes than your comfort and unlikely to listen when you’re uncomfortable.
Perhaps the people doing so are not ignorant of history and the monstrous systems censorship produces, in the name of “righteousness” or more recently, “feelings”. If someone caring more about jokes than your feelings is immoral, those who care more about their feelings than other people’s livelihoods or physical freedom are certainly not capable of compassion. They are cruel, capricious and narcissistic, willing to ruin lives because they feel offended.
They say something racist, homophobic or otherwise bigoted
Someone who is not interested in examining their privilege and figuring out how they can be more sensitive to perspectives other than their own is not likely to be a champion for women’s rights.
Otherwise bigoted could mean anything the author / evaluator of the hopeless candidate wants it to mean. And not being interested in examining your priviege is not the same as gratuitously expressing disdain for one category or another based on inherent traits.
The more important question remains whether you’re looking for a romantic partner or a political ally to expand your echo chamber. If the latter is true, why not tell them from the very beginning, instead of playing detective with this person’s mind? Another issue is that the author simply assumes that every woman is looking for a male feminist.
The other points refer to men who are rude, obnoxious or pushy – I doubt however that if it’s in their nature to be so, they would only display that in the company of women.
The end is sublime though.
Sometimes you’ve got to kiss a few sexist frogs before you find a feminist prince, but they’re out there.
The feminist prince must encapsulate the following: he must be neutered, he should be on strong psychotropics which inhibit his ability to reason and must be very, very desperate (desperate enough to sit through hours of dreary conversations to get some action in bed). Otherwise, try someone with a fetish for taming impossible women. Other combinations are unlikely to ever work.