People will always be cunts. They will form prejudices, circulate them and at times accept them as absolute truths, out of the need for tribalism, for the ”us vs them”, as well as the need to feel superior to others in any way they can.
Sorry to say, as a hippie type who has roamed the planet for almost three decades, hoping to find many who are willing to meet others with an open heart. It’s time to grow up and give up. Flowers wither. And like flowers, ideas wither as well; more so, they receive regular golden showers from passersby.
I honestly get where some SJW’s are coming from. For instance, I get the fact that one might sometimes find themselves reading The Guardian, just to get away from that visceral feeling of doom awakened by far right publications ( a feeling derived not from alarming predictions but from the sheer waves of hatred and toxicity people express there, making one feel like the world will soon end – or better yet, that it should). Not that one should seek the depressant on purpose – yet one is sometimes directed there by others, when important events are covered, demoralised by 2500 possible co-nationals voting up extremism and vitriol.
Also, I get the fact that whoever has experienced bullying knows exactly what impact some public statements will have on ordinary people, targeted in one way or another. Targeted categories change over the years, but every age has its idols, its hate figures, its circus clowns and its puppeteers. At the end of the day, it’s business as usual; life carries on.
I know many people genuinely want the world to be a less acrimonious place, yet have no idea how to go about it; so far every mass attempt has failed, from the naive to the grotesque, zombie-fied version of ”equality” promotion we see nowadays. My humble conclusion in that one’s sole guaranteed contribution to that ideal is simply being a decent person, as opposed to joining groups, participating in their events, going to lengths never before considered as well as being vilified along with them for attitudes you don’t truly share. One’s individuality can be lost so easily in a choir of voices, mechanically chanting along to someone else’s words.
Firstly, I believe that the only way to reduce superficial judgement of others is continuous self-awareness, and self-awareness is no easy task – it certainly can’t be learned by memorising a few emotion-inducing memes circulated through Facebook. On the contrary, one needs to be on the lookout for political manipulation whenever emotion is being used to further a cause. Being truly aware of the world around us does require empathy and imagination (being able to see ourselves in someone else’s shoes) but also logic, observation and life experience.
Human nature is far too complex and fucked up to try to enforce social harmony on a mass scale, through political correctness; sometimes it feels certain lefties would like to see lobotomies performed to obliterate parts of it. The comforting phrase ”you can’t please everyone” is the understatement of the century.
”What strikes me most about…”
People usually identify you with your most visible deviation from what they see as the norm. Unless you’re a personality of such respectability that your appearance, disabilities, speech defects etc become unnoticeable, but even then they mention them second to your achievements. That fat writer who walks funny, that famous professor with a lisp, that scientist who wears funny hats, that politician with a bad hairpiece. Simply put, they say what they see, no matter how unnecessary for the discussion or how rude. Overtime they might forget your achievements but the bloody hairpiece or ill-fitting suit will stick in their minds.
They also tend to identify you with the most shocking bit of information they have on your life. That actress who had a meltdown, that singer who checked into rehab, that guy from across the road who got a DUI last year. Say you’re a perfectly normal neighbour and never bother anyone for ten years, but one night you get wasted and people see you running around singing loudly in your underwear. Your neighbours will not remember you as Bob who was a perfectly normal guy for a decade but as Karaoke Bob, who gave them ten minutes of entertainment. And I hate it but that’s how things are; the ugly and the embarrassing, that one would rather forget, is the first thing on many people’s minds. I’m not making this up; new acquaintances were sometimes described to me in such ways, without any relevance to their situation at the time or my prospective interaction with them. The hope that one’s personality comes first is an illusion. It always will be.
Recipe for backstabbing
It’s better to know who is fond of you and who isn’t, even if the latter is a rude awakening, rather than have others be pleasant to your face and mock you behind your back. That’s how political correctness will never, ever educate anyone on not judging or not assuming. Naively mingling with those who covertly dislike us leaves us very vulnerable. Political correctness, even when normalised, creates a hypocritical society, where no one knows who to really trust. I personally find that far more dangerous than being offended. I’d rather someone was racist, xenophobic or whatever to my face, even in public, than to speak to them for five years and later find out they had despised me all along.
Political correctness is likely to create a paradise for backstabbers, hypocrites and suck-ups, as well as a medium for festering hatred.
We all have our days
Decent people can be cunts as well. They can be arrogant and insensitive – which doesn’t mean the ”sensitive” side should become self-righteous and embark on a crusade against anyone who behaves in such ways at some point. In fact, I trust no one on this planet goes through life without having (had) a prejudice, having misjudged or offended others. For instance, there’s no point labelling someone a racist for life, based on a mere few words. A huge deal is being made today over trivial matters, when others are far more pressing.
Subjectivity on steroids
The fear of offending can become an unhealthy obsession, to the point of endangering whole societies, when very different cultures are thrown together without a viable plan of integration. One has to be able to keep a straight head, without mutilating reality to suit their narrative. Just as the far right picks on everything but the kitchen sink when it comes to demonising targets, anti-discrimination groups sweep harsh realities under the rug, thinking it’s for the greater good (and denial never is).
A quick list of criteria according to which people might/ are likely to judge you, in no order of importance:
- Your origin, race, age, background, education; your family of origin; your place of origin (down to villages, neighbourhoods and streets);
- Your current job and social status; your material situation;
- Your intellectual level, especially if recognised on paper; your elocution, debate skills etc;
- Your physical appearance (I should’ve started with that, actually);
- Your health and level of activity; your working out habits
- Your interests, hobbies and preferences;
- Your belief systems (religion, politics, other ideologies);
- Your partner and family life or lack thereof;
- Your known achievements, if any;
- Your lifestyle and habits (holidays, vices, amount of time spent indoors etc);
- Your sex life and orientation (past and present), to the extent that it is public;
- Your actual personality and attitude towards others.
From the diploma hanging on your wall to the size of your knickers, everything matters. Someone somewhere will find a reason to hate you when they become aware of your existence.
And someone somewhere is ardently expanding on how people like you should be hanged, for one or more of the aforementioned reasons, particularly beliefs, sexual habits and vices.
The world really isn’t a friendly place at all.
For a few years now, my goal has been to find the values which have transcended time and will remain the rock of genuine human interaction, through ever-changing societal structures, moral norms etc. I firmly believe these values can only be found individually, by looking at social dynamics from a certain distance and not being drawn to a militant stance by any ideology. Unlike those who think they have these answers and are trying to force them on others, I am aware the search will take a lifetime to complete.